To you, from 27 year old me

Knowing that I am 27 years old kind of freaks me out. Who let me grow up? Why did I wish to be so grown when actually being a teenager is probably the best time of your life? I really sat down and took the time to think about all of the things I have learned in my first century of life. Here are a few of the things I know for sure:

1. Sometimes your life changes.

You may think that you know exactly how you want your life to go and have figured out what makes you happy, but that can change in the blink of an eye. Do not get so stuck on being one thing that you forget to be anything else. I was so caught up in being a girlfriend wanting to be a wife or wanting to be a mother, that I almost forgot to live. I remember thinking about being pregnant with Kayson, thinking that is going to save my life and relationship not knowing that was probably the worst years of my life (besides Kayson-that's a whole other story). It's okay to find a new purpose as your life changes, it's okay to not stay in this season for the rest of your life. Embrace new life changes and chapters, and trust that new seasons will come. It may not happen exactly how you want it to, but it will come. 

2. The person you love now may not be the person you love forever - and that is OKAY!

I know now that the guy I loved at 15 was not the guy I loved at 18 and the guy I love now is not the guy I loved at 18. Sometimes you outgrow someone that doesn't mean that you cannot care about them, but it does mean that maybe that chapter of your life is over with. This can be for anything from relationships to friendships too. I mean honestly, how many of your friends are you still friends with from kindergarten. I know that each person has had an effect on my life. I know that they helped create my interests and decide my choices, but now I need to create the life I want... I'm a type 7 on the enneagram test and I find that that test and astrology really have become major influences in my life now because of its accuracy. 

You can find out what enneagram you are by taking this test: Enneagram Test

It's also helped teach me that not everyone in your life can go to the next level with you. And while that hurts, it is okay. I've learned and am still learning to never let someone be your everything. Never allow one person to take up all your time. Pouring all of yourself into one person can be very detrimental to not only you, but it is unfair to them too. Because of the unrealistic expectations you are putting on someone. 

3. Try and not complain or use the word can't. 

Part of my 2021 resolutions was to not complain about things I cannot change or use the word I cant. What is the point of limiting myself or complaining about something that will have the same consequence either way. When you complain you are basically seeking justice in thinking that way, if you truly believe something you will not need anyone to agree or disagree with you. 

4. What someone else thinks of you should not matter to you.

Like Sir Anthony Hopkins once said, "their opinion of me is none of my business". Truth is that everyone is going to have an opinion about your life and how you react to it is all you can control. You wont be able to change somebodies opinion of you because truth is their mind is already made up. Live for you and nobody else. My novel is actually about the way someone sees you and how everyone in your life has an opinion of you, but everyone has a different opinion of you. No one can change the way you think about yourself unless you allow them to. Nothing in life has meaning until you give it one. If you truly do not care about what others think then do not give them a reaction or response.

5. Use your time wisely.

I have had times where I think about the amount of time I have wasted on boyfriends, on hangovers, money, and unforsaken times...Never once have I looked back and regretted hanging out with my loved ones, going on a hike/adventure, or sharing my stories with someone.  

6. Do what is best for you and no one else. 

Don't hinder yourself for the benefits of others, don't not tell your story because it reflects someone else negatively, don't choose to lie or hide what has happened to you because someone else does not want others to know. You deserve to have your voice heard. Choosing yourself is not selfish. 

7. Thoughts shape behavior and attitudes...

What comes to mind and what you say aloud affects you and others. What comes out of your mouth matters...What you give attention will continue to grow. There is life and death in the power of your words. Before you speak try and ask yourself: is what you're saying true? Are you making up something to benefit something? Do you mean what you say? If it will not help someone or take a weight off your shoulders, DO NOT SAY IT.